Fearless Vampire Killers: Halloween Blog II

A typical Halloween night for most would most likely involve them donning some plastic, glow-in-the-dark fangs or perhaps  a Captain Scarlet outfit and hitting the streets either hoping to indulge their sweet tooth or whipping up some trouble with a box of eggs and some maxi-strength toilet paper. Me? I’d settle down with whatever morsels were left after the trick or treaters had stopped a-knockin’, wrap up warm, turn out the lights and get ready for…THE SIMPSONS TREEHOUSE OF HORROR!

When I was growing The Simpsons was my all time favourite show, me and my brother would watch it every night (once we got sky that would be at least 3 episodes a night – much to my dad’s annoyance as it was on at the same time as Deep Space Nine) and be quoting it whenever we could fit it into conversations (and we could do that A LOT). most of my favourite episodes were the Halloween specials collecting three tales of horror/sci-fi/fantasy craziness where the normal rules of the show didn’t apply and anything could happen. With now 21 Treehouse of Horrors so far released they’ve parodied everything from King Kong, The Twilight Zone, I Know What YouDid Last Summer to The raven there’re so many great moments to choose from but here are a few of my favourites…
1. DIAL Z FOR ZOMBIES
 
Brilliant zombie mash up in which Bart and Lisa unwittingly bring the dead back to life when attempting to revive their pet cat, it’s such a geekfest because it references so many other films from The Evil Dead series, Return of the living Dead…well, anything with ‘DEAD’ in the title i guess. Two of the best quotes have to be:

Homer[after seeing Barney Gumble gnawing on an arm] Barney! Not you too!
Barney
: I’m not a zombie. But hey, when in Rome…Wow! George Washington!
Homer
: Take that, Washington! Eat lead, Einstein! Show’s over, Shakesphere! Shakesphere: Is this the end of zombie Shakespeare? [dies]

 

Bart: Wow, Dad you just killed the zombie Flanders!
Homer: 
He was a zombie?

Oh Homer you silly sausage, ROFLZ!

 

  2. BART SIMPSON’S DRACULA

 
Quite possibly my favourite Treehouse of horror sketch if only for Mr Burns’ genius parody of Gary Oldman’s portrayal of Dracula in Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula PHEW….that was a mouthful…or typeful I guess in this instance. With nods to Lost Boys and Salem’s Lot thrown in for good measure it’s the ultimate Simpsons Vamp-fest.

 

[The Simpsons arrive at Mr. Burns’ castle. Homer rings the doorbell.]
Mr Burns:
 [via intercom] Welcome, come in. [sinisterly, still heard on intercom] Ah, fresh victims for my ever growing army of the undead.
Smithers: 
Sir, you have to let go of the button.
Mr Burns:
 Oh, son of a bi– [door opens]

 
Homer:
Killing my boss – do I dare live the American?
The inexplicable ‘Super Fun Happy Slide’ moments are the ones that crack me up the most but you gotta see it to fully appreciate it ;).
3. CITIZEN KANG
 
Less of a horror tale, this is a bizarre sci-fi political satire in which space aliens Kang and Kodos kidnap presidential candidates bill Clinton and Bob Dole and assume their likeness in order to enslave humanity. It’s one of those sketches that I didn’t appreciate fully when I was younger but, as with all good Simpsons episodes, I enjoy more and more everytime as time goes on. CLASSIC QUOTES?…

George Stephanoupolus: [to Kodos, who has taken on the form of Bill Clinton] Uh, Mr. President, sir, people are becoming a bit… confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands.
Kodos:
 We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I’d like to hear it.

Kang: Abortions for all!
Crowd: Boo!
Kang: Ok, no abortions for anyone!
Crowd: Boo!
Kang: Very well…abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
Crowd: Yay!

Bloody Hell I better wrap this up as this has waffled on far too long, hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane and leave you with another classic quote from ‘Clown without Pity’:

Homer: Do you sell toys?
Shopkeeper: We sell forbidden objects from places men dare to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt which I call frogurt.
Homer: Well, I need something for my son’s birthday.
Shopkeeper: Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. [picks a Krusty the Clown doll] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse.
Homer[worried] Ooooh, that’s bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt.
Homer[relieved] That’s good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer[worried] That’s bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of topping.
Homer[relieved] That’s good.
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
Homer[stares]
Shopkeeper: That’s bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

126 thoughts on “Fearless Vampire Killers: Halloween Blog II

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