Fearless Vampire Killers: Halloween Blog XXI

Yep, me again.

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”
Plato

Sure, i’m a fool, and I don’t have that many “important” words to say, but this is the last Halloween blog, so let us validate Plato’s little meditation, and I – the fool – shall talk!

Today is this day, and this day walk the dead among the living! Be sure to lock up your doors, salt your window sills and draw complex incomprehensible chalk symbols on your doors. Now load the shotgun on your dresser – but be careful! You don’t want to blow your face off before you get a chance to send some hell-spawn screeching back from whence they came!

Now you’re settled down, ready for your final battle with the creatures who worship those three sickly orange sextupulous numbers of the beast (and yes I just made that word up, and yes, of course it means six-like; as in similar to the number six). So yeah, now you’re all wrapped up with a bowl of pumpkin soup, Plan Nine’s Black Gate stomping out of an old Hacker Super Sovereign 1975 transistor radio, and you’re computer is on, those mitten clad mitts of yours plonking away at that cobalt coloured keyboard.

Well, I ask you to click away, for just the tiniest moment from www.practicalzompiredecapitationtechniques.com and take the time to read this last Halloween blog. Perhaps it will cheer you up, but what I’m really gunning for here, is that the following words may even give you the balls to take up that sawn-off and last the night!

Now for the feature presentation!

SOOOOOOO! Those who saw one of our Halloween shows, you might have noticed that we started the set with This Is Halloween from Nightmare Before Christmas, from which we stormed headfirst into this other punky riff. To my amazement, hardly anyone knew where that riff came from!

Well, although it may of sounded something akin to five teenagers who had just got their instruments for christmas, we were actually trying to recreate Nerfherder’s epic masterpiece; The theme from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As you can probably see, we love that show, most of us grew up watching it – or being too scared to do so! What we didn’t realize however, is that all these years later we’d have so much fun watching it again, and that there is much more depth and character than had first been apparent. But as Nigel Tufnel would say, “I don’t know where to start.”

Luckily, Academics Wilcox and Lavery provide examples of how a few episodes deal with real life issues turned into supernatural metaphors, showing us that buffy is more than simply fangs and pretty girls:

In the world of Buffy the problems that teenagers face become literal monsters. A mother can take over her daughter’s life (“Witch”); a strict stepfather-to-be really is a heartless machine (“Ted”); a young lesbian fears that her nature is demonic (“Goodbye Iowa” and “Family”); a girl who has sex with even the nicest-seeming guy may discover that he afterwards becomes a monster (“Innocence”).

Naturally, Drew and I welcomed Buffy and her issues into our lives. Series one was always a barrel of laughs, though sometimes pretty cheesy (I mean Buffy’s cup cake t-shirt!? Who the hell was costume designer on that episode?). Series two however kicked off at 400mph. Zander and Willow getting up close and personal and spike turning up in a fuck-off big car and smashing through Sunnydale’s town sign; it was fantastic!

Then we hit Reptile Boy a stunner of an episode and this is where Joss Whedon pushes up the emotional tension to 11! Just check out this bit of dialogue. WARNING SLIGHT SPOILER.

So Angel is a vampire, a good one, but still with the urges, only he got his soul back.

Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You’re 16 years old, I’m 241.
Buffy: I’ve done the math.
Angel: You don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t know what you want.
Buffy: Oh, no, I-I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing’s gonna lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it’s a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I’m just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?
[Angel grabs her and pulls her close, and she gasps]
Angel: This isn’t some fairy tale. When I kiss you… you don’t wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No… when you kiss me, I wanna die.

Fuck I love you Sarah Michelle-Geller. My heart bleeds!

Afterwards Drew looked at me and said, “That small piece of dialogue just did what twilight has tried to do with three films and numerous books! It has more emotional intensity than all of the twilight films put together!”

I’ve not seen or read twighlight and now I don’t have to.

On Saturday, while Kier was at Alice Cooper singing along to Poison, Drew and I discovered that our next episode in season two was miraculously called Halloween! What a ghoulish delight. Here’s the lowdown.

It turns out that Halloween is the one night of the year when vampires actually lay low, so everybody is getting their costumes from the new store in town, Ethan’s Costume Shop. Buffy wears a noble woman’s dress from the time when Angel was human, Xander dresses up like a soldier, and Willow chickens out on dressing like a hooker and goes as a ghost. But Ethan Rayne, the shop owner, has invoked the Roman god Janus so everybody becomes their costume. That means all the children in the neighborhood are now monsters and Buffy thinks she is an 18th-century maiden who faints at the sight of demons and vampires.

The episode was great, Spike turned up, and something mysterious is going on with Giles.

Classic moments (Bullet-time!)

  • Spike surveys the chaos caused on Halloween by Ethan Rayne’s costume transformation spell.
    Spike:
    Well, this is just… neat.
  • Buffy Summers: (as an 18th century girl) A demon! A demon!
    Willow Rosenberg: It’s not a demon, it’s a car.
    Buffy Summers: What does it want?
  • Xander Harris: We must have some kind of amnesia.
    Buffy Summers: (Once again as an 18th century girl) I don’t know what that is, but I’m certain I don’t have it. I bathe quite often!

So if that hasn’t got you in the mood for Buffy, I don’t know what will!

Happy Halloween all, get those shotguns loaded, and pretend you are Buffy – you might survive!

Until my next letter, or never…

Laurence

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119 thoughts on “Fearless Vampire Killers: Halloween Blog XXI

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